Recently I have been pondering just how incredibly unique all of my friends are. We are all so wonderfully different and individually made, that at times I am astounded (I seriously love it!). In our differences though, I have come to see many of us have this fantasy picture in our heads of “the perfect person” that we somehow expect everyone around us to attempt to become. Far too often I hear someone say something to the effect of “That person annoys the crap out of me! They really need to change!” But I wonder, if we had to live up to what we demand of others, how well would we actually measure up?
People are so often quick to point out faults and slow to encourage. When something about someone irritates us, we expect them to not only accept and respect our opinions of them without question, but also to change their habits or personality overnight. What if the tables were turned, how well would we take our own criticism?
The answer to that question will be different for everyone, but lately I personally have been doing my best to reevaluate the expectations and pressures I place on others to change. Simply because in the moment I got frustrated, does not give me the right to demand anything of them…. Quite the contrary. I can’t lie that there are personality and character traits in those around me that at times irritate me, but hey, that’s life! When you are close to someone and get to know them really well, getting along doesn’t “just happen” it becomes something you have to work to achieve. Friendships should never be based on trying to “fix” the other person. We should always accept our friends just as they are while at the same challenging and encouraging them to be the very best they can possibly be.
What I always come back to is this; I cannot alter my friends and trying to do so is a fast way to ruin the friendship. The only person I can change is myself, and how I react when my friends frustrate me. There will always be people in our lives that rub us the wrong way because “we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” The sooner we accept this the more successful our relationships will become. I am far too blessed and my friendships mean far too much to me to destroy them with unreasonable demands! Besides, as often as not, I annoy my friends just as much as they annoy me! Haha, so what can we do but love and accept each other exactly as we are?
Thats really deep and so true. It feels impossible sometimes, but I know what you’re saying is true. There comes a time and a place where you just have to give a person to God and thank Him anyway even if He gives them back the same to you. I also know that biting my tongue, and trusting that the Creator of the whole universe, even my own mind(gasp!), knows more than me and will work everything out in the end, without my well thought out human imput to help Him fix the people He must have accidentally dropped.
Later,
JdeM
Hannah,
How authentically, lovingly said. I wish I had seen even half that clearly when I was your age. The “company” that we walk with and live life with is such a precious treasure.
Thanks for reminding me.
Love,
Donalyn
Yeah, well said!